As a midwife, I often get repeat clients. I also get referrals because clients will speak well of me to their friends and family. But sometimes, if the client isn’t ready to announce her good news, I have to keep the pregnancy a secret, even from the friend or family member who referred them. I take client confidentiality quite seriously. So, sometimes it can get quite interesting keeping up with who knows what about whom. The story I’m about to tell is probably the most complicated set of secrets that I have ever had to keep track of all at one time.

A former client that I’ll refer to as Pam (I’ve changed all the client names in this story) came to me with her third pregnancy, after two disappointing hospital c-sections. She was very pleased with the care I gave her, and we even became friends. Her pregnancy and birth went very well and I went on to deliver another child for her a couple of years later. When Pam became pregnant yet again, she was living out of state, so I was not her midwife. Even so, Pam called me regularly to keep me posted on how her latest pregnancy was going.

Recently, I got a new client, a first-time mom I’ll call “Susan.” And Susan is Pam’s sister. She and her husband wanted to hold off telling other family members until Susan was a little farther along in her pregnancy. So, for the first few weeks, I couldn’t tell Pam that her sister was my client. I spoke to Pam at least twice without being able to say a word about her sister’s pregnancy or that she was seeing me.

To make things even more interesting, right after Susan started seeing me, I got a call from Pam’s sister-in-law (let’s call her “Jean”). Jean and “Robert” had decided to start a family. Since Pam had spoken well of me, they decided that they wanted to meet me. They made an appointment for a consultation visit. Over the phone, Jean let me know that she wanted me to not say anything to Pam because they were not ready to tell family. Of course, I agreed. I wondered if she knew about Susan’s pregnancy, but I didn’t dare ask.

So, Jean and Robert came to see me. But while they are both in my office, Pam called me on my cell phone. I took the call and just winked at Jean while I spoke to Pam. I never let Pam know that her brother and sister-in-law were sitting right there with me the whole time I was talking to her on the phone. I kept the conversation short and just told her that I had another client in my office and would have to call her back.

The next day, Pam and I talked but she still didn’t know about either her sister or sister-in-law. Then a couple of days later, she called me again to let me know that she had just heard from her sister Susan. So Pam finally knew that Susan was pregnant and seeing me. She was so excited that Susan was seeing me. I told her that I was so glad that she finally knew, that I had been dying to tell her. But even as I was talking to her, I knew that I still couldn’t tell either Pam or Susan that their brother and his wife were also making plans for a pregnancy. (Sound confusing? Tell me about it!)

Finally, I got a call from Jean. She announced to me that she was pregnant and she wanted to set up her first prenatal appointment me. I asked her if she had told her family. I was so relieved to hear that everyone had been told the news and everyone knew about each other’s pregnancies. It was fun helping them keep their secrets and watching their reactions as they each found out the other’s news. But I was equally relieved that everyone knew and that I no longer had to worry about letting something slip.